How It Feels to Float by Helena Fox (English) Paperback Book

Description: How It Feels to Float by Helena Fox In her mesmerizing, radiant debut, Fox tells a story about love and grief, family and friendship, inter-generational mental illness, and how living with it is both a bridge to someone loved and lost and, also, a chasm. "Profoundly moving...Will take your breath away."--Kathleen Glasgow, author of "Girl in Pieces." FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description "Profoundly moving . . . Will take your breath away." —Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces "Give this to all your friends immediately . . . It tackles mental health, depression, sexual identity, and anxiety with beauty and empathy." —Cosmopolitan.comA Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the YearA Chicago Public Library Best of the Best of the YearBiz knows how to float, right there on the surface—normal okay regular fine. She has her friends, her mom, the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who shouldnt be here but is. So Biz doesnt tell anyone anything—not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And not about seeing her dad. Because her dad died when she was seven.But after what happens on the beach, the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Her dad disappears and, with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe—maybe maybe maybe—theres a third way Biz just cant see yet.Debut author Helena Fox tells a story about love, grief, and inter-generational mental illness, exploring the hard and beautiful places loss can take us, and honoring those who hold us tightly when the current wants to tug us out to sea."I havent been so dazzled by a YA in ages." —Jandy Nelson, author of Ill Give You the Sun (via SLJ)"Mesmerizing and timely." —Bustle"Nothing short of exquisite." —PopSugar"Immensely satisfying" —Girls Life* "Lyrical and profoundly affecting." —Kirkus (starred review)* "Masterful...Just beautiful." —Booklist (starred review)* "Intimate...Unexpected." —PW (starred review)* "Fox writes with superb understanding and tenderness." —BCCB (starred review)* "Frank [and] beautifully crafted." —BookPage (starred review)"Deeply moving...A story of hope." —Common Sense Media"This book will explode you into atoms." —Margo Lanagan, author of Tender Morsels"Helena Foxs novel delivers. Read it." —Cath Crowley, author of Words in Deep Blue"This is not a book; it is a work of art." —Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned"Perfect...Readers will be deeply moved." —Books+Publishing Author Biography Helena Fox lives in Wollongong, Australia, where she runs creative writing workshops for young people. Shes a graduate of the MFA Program for Writers at Warren Wilson College in North Carolina. How It Feels to Float is her debut novel. She can be found at Review "I havent been so dazzled by a YA in ages. . . . Bizs voice is wild and rollicking, lyrical and hilarious, utterly authentic . . . There isnt a false note." —Jandy Nelson, author of Ill Give You the Sun (via School Library Journal)"[How It Feels to Float] explores intergenerational mental illness in a way that is nothing short of exquisite." —PopSugar"A profoundly moving story about grief, loss, and love that will take your breath away. Helena Fox is a writer to be reckoned with." —Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces"If youve read Anna Borgess story for The Outline "I Am Not Always Very Attached To Being Alive," you are perhaps already acquainted with the idea of "treading to stay afloat" when living with mental illness. In How It Feels To Float, author Helena Fox tells the story of a young woman floating through life, struggling to hide her dark thoughts and a past marked by intergenerational mental illness. —Bustle"How It Feels to Float is technically a YA novel, but Im not talking Twilight YA. Im talking give-this-to-all-your-twenty-something-friends-immediately YA. This book will relate to anyone thats lived through the confusing mind-f*ck that is being a high school girl. More than that, it tackles mental health, depression, sexual identity, and anxiety with beauty and empathy as protagonist Biz comes to terms with the death of her father amid a devastating social fall-out." —Cosmopolitan.com"Beautifully written, Bizs story (of dark thoughts, grief and questioning her sexuality) is subtly revealed and immensely satisfying as she slowly unravels and puts herself together again." —Girls Life"Teens who dont want to be labeled, who dont conform to checklists of attributes or fall into tidy boxes, will relate hard to this book about a girl who wants, very badly at times, to float away, but who ultimately finds herself . . . Full of life, resplendent with sensory details, lush descriptions, clever and witty narration, and a beating heart that will make yours swell with feeling." —B&N Teen Blog… "Lyrical and profoundly affecting, providing a nuanced account of the hereditary effects of trauma. Haunting." —Kirkus (starred review)… "Biz is smart, funny, and self-deprecating . . . [How It Feels to Float is] a masterful portrayal of mental illness that illuminates the complex interplay between emotional trauma and the minds subsequent recoil. And the writing is just beautiful." —Booklist (starred review)… "Exquisite . . . Through lyrical first-person narration, Fox empathically conveys the hereditary nature of Bizs illness, its disorienting manifestations, and the limitations and power of love to heal." —Publishers Weekly (starred review)… "Fox writes with superb understanding and tenderness . . . The poignant depiction of depression is leavened by secondary characters who love Biz, ranging from Jaspers photographer grandmother to Jasper himself and even to Bizs doomed dad, who may have lost to his demons but who has a larky beauty that lights up the pages. . . . Ambiguity enhances the beautiful, unsteady shimmer of Bizs story." —BCCB (starred review)… "This is a frank story of mental illness, loss, and sexual identity, and Fox responsibly concludes her story with information and support services for readers facing similar issues. How It Feels to Float is a beautifully crafted story of finding hope and love when both appear to be gone forever." —BookPage (starred review)"A YA The Bell Jar with a ghostly twist, [and an] honest, nuanced portrayal of grief and life with mental illness. . . . A mesmerizing and timely debut." —Bustle"Beautifully written and deeply moving . . . Just as much a story of hope and the power of love and friendship." —Common Sense Media"This book will explode you into atoms, put you back together, and return the new shape of you to earth. Alive with sensation and rich in thought and feeling, How it Feels to Float intensively explores what its like to be here now." —Margo Lanagan, author of Tender Morsels"Impossibly beautiful, life-affirming, profound. This is not a book; it is a work of art." —Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned "Every now and then you pick up a novel and you know youve found something wonderful—a glorious voice, a character you adore. Helena Foxs novel delivers. It is exquisite. Read it." —Cath Crowley, author of Words in Deep Blue"It is a testament to Helena Foxs immense skill as a writer that all the disparate elements come together seamlessly in an intense, intimate portrait of a teenage girl. Like Biz in the darkroom, the author dodges and burns, keeping her characters moving, exposing them to the light." —The Saturday Paper"A perfect, surreal exploration of mental illness and grief. Foxs writing is poetry, bringing the reader to the brink of Bizs madness and back again as she finds new ways to make meaning, and new people to make it with. . . . How It Feels to Float is a visceral reading experience that captures the way in which many teens struggle with mental illness. It is a lesson in acceptance and understanding, and readers will be deeply moved." —Books+Publishing Review Quote "I havent been so dazzled by a YA in ages. . . . Bizs voice is wild and rollicking, lyrical and hilarious, utterly authentic . . . There isnt a false note." --Jandy Nelson, author of Ill Give You the Sun (via School Library Journal ) "[ How It Feels to Float ] explores intergenerational mental illness in a way that is nothing short of exquisite." --PopSugar "A profoundly moving story about grief, loss, and love that will take your breath away. Helena Fox is a writer to be reckoned with." --Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces "If youve read Anna Borgess story for The Outline "I Am Not Always Very Attached To Being Alive," you are perhaps already acquainted with the idea of "treading to stay afloat" when living with mental illness. In How It Feels To Float, author Helena Fox tells the story of a young woman floating through life, struggling to hide her dark thoughts and a past marked by intergenerational mental illness. --Bustle " How It Feels to Float is technically a YA novel, but Im not talking Twilight YA. Im talking give-this-to-all-your-twenty-something-friends-immediately YA. This book will relate to anyone thats lived through the confusing mind-f*ck that is being a high school girl. More than that, it tackles mental health, depression, sexual identity, and anxiety with beauty and empathy as protagonist Biz comes to terms with the death of her father amid a devastating social fall-out." --Cosmopolitan.com "Beautifully written, Bizs story (of dark thoughts, grief and questioning her sexuality) is subtly revealed and immensely satisfying as she slowly unravels and puts herself together again." --Girls Life "Teens who dont want to be labeled, who dont conform to checklists of attributes or fall into tidy boxes, will relate hard to this book about a girl who wants, very badly at times, to float away, but who ultimately finds herself . . . Full of life, resplendent with sensory details, lush descriptions, clever and witty narration, and a beating heart that will make yours swell with feeling." --B&N Teen Blog "Lyrical and profoundly affecting, providing a nuanced account of the hereditary effects of trauma. Haunting." -- Kirkus (starred review) " Biz is smart, funny, and self-deprecating . . . [ How It Feels to Float is] a masterful portrayal of mental illness that illuminates the complex interplay between emotional trauma and the minds subsequent recoil. And the writing is just beautiful." -- Booklist (starred review) " Exquisite . . . Through lyrical first-person narration, Fox empathically conveys the hereditary nature of Bizs illness, its disorienting manifestations, and the limitations and power of love to heal." -- Publishers Weekly (starred review) "Fox writes with superb understanding and tenderness . . . The poignant depiction of depression is leavened by secondary characters who love Biz, ranging from Jaspers photographer grandmother to Jasper himself and even to Bizs doomed dad, who may have lost to his demons but who has a larky beauty that lights up the pages. . . . Ambiguity enhances the beautiful, unsteady shimmer of Bizs story." -- BCCB (starred review) "This is a frank story of mental illness, loss, and sexual identity, and Fox responsibly concludes her story with information and support services for readers facing similar issues. How It Feels to Float is a beautifully crafted story of finding hope and love when both appear to be gone forever." -- BookPage (starred review) "A YA The Bell Jar with a ghostly twist, [and an] honest, nuanced portrayal of grief and life with mental illness. . . . A mesmerizing and timely debut." --Bustle "This book will explode you into atoms, put you back together, and return the new shape of you to earth. Alive with sensation and rich in thought and feeling, How it Feels to Float intensively explores what its like to be here now." --Margo Lanagan, author of Tender Morsels "Impossibly beautiful, life-affirming, profound. This is not a book; it is a work of art." --Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned "Every now and then you pick up a novel and you know youve found something wonderful--a glorious voice, a character you adore. Helena Foxs novel delivers. It is exquisite. Read it." --Cath Crowley, author of Words in Deep Blue "It is a testament to Helena Foxs immense skill as a writer that all the disparate elements come together seamlessly in an intense, intimate portrait of a teenage girl. Like Biz in the darkroom, the author dodges and burns, keeping her characters moving, exposing them to the light." -- The Saturday Paper "A perfect, surreal exploration of mental illness and grief. Foxs writing is poetry, bringing the reader to the brink of Bizs madness and back again as she finds new ways to make meaning, and new people to make it with. . . . How It Feels to Float is a visceral reading experience that captures the way in which many teens struggle with mental illness. It is a lesson in acceptance and understanding, and readers will be deeply moved." -- Books+Publishing Excerpt from Book At three in the morning when I cant sleep, the room ticks over in the dark and all I have for company is the rush of words coming up fast like those racehorses you see on television, poor things, and when their hearts give out they are laid on the ground and shot dead behind a blue sheet. At three a.m., I think of hearts. I think of candy hearts and carved-tree hearts and hummingbird hearts. I think of hearts in bodies and the rhythm inside us we dont get to choose. I lay my hand over mine. There it is. It beatbeats beatbeatbeats skipsabeatbeatbeat beatbeatbeats. A heart is a mystery and not a mystery. It hides under ribs, pumping blood. You can pull it out, hold it in your hand. Squeeze . It wants what it wants. It can be made of gold, glass, stone. It can stop anytime. People scratch hearts into benches, draw them onto fogged windows, tattoo them on their skin. Believe the story they tell themselves: that hearts are somehow bigger than muscle, that we are something more than an accidental arrangement of molecules, that we are pulled by a force greater than gravity, that love is anything more than a mess of nerve and impulse-- "Biz." A whisper. "Biz." In the dark. "Biz . " In my room. I open my eyes, and Dads sitting on the edge of the bed. "You need to stop," he says. What? I squint at him. Hes blurry. "The thinking. I can hear it when you breathe." Dads wearing a gray sweatshirt. His hands are folded in his lap. He looks tired. "You should sleep like you did when you were small," he says. He looks away, smiles. "Your tiny fingers, tucked under your chin. Theres a photo . . ." Dad trails off. Yeah, Dad. Ive seen it. "The one of us in hospital, after you were born--" Yeah. The one just after Mum got her new blood and you fainted and they gave you orange juice. The one where Mums laughing up at the camera as I sleep in her arms. Yeah. Ive seen it. Dad smiles again. He reaches across to touch me, but of course he cant. That photo has been on every fridge door in every house Ive ever lived in. It sits under a plumbing company magnet and beside a clip holding year-old receipts Mum cant seem to throw away. The photo was taken an hour after I came bulleting out of Mum so fast she had to have a transfusion. In the picture, I look like a slug and Dad looks flattened, like hes seen a car accident. But Mums face is bright, open, happy. All the other photos are in albums on our living room bookshelf, next to the non-working fireplace. The albums hold every picture of me Dad ever took until he died, and all the ones of me Mum took until smartphones came along and she stopped printing me onto paper. Im now partly inside a frozen computer Mum keeps meaning to get fixed, and on an overcrowded iPhone she keeps meaning to download. And Im in the photos friends have taken when Ive let them and the ones the twins have taken with their eyes since they were babies. Im in the ocean I walk beside when I skip school and in the clouds where I imagine myself sometimes. And Im in the look on my friend Graces face, a second after I kissed her, five seconds before she said she thought of me as a friend. I blink. Dads gone again. The room is empty but for me, my bed, my walls, my thoughts, my things. Its what--four in the morning? I have a physics test at eight. My ribs hurt. Behind them, my heart beatbeats beatbeatbeats beatskipsabeat beatbeat beats. My name is Elizabeth Martin Grey, but no one I love calls me that. The Martin is for Dads dad who died in a farm accident when he was thirty and Dad was ten. I was seven when Dad died. Which means I had less time with Dad alive than Dad had with his. Theres never enough time. Actually, theres too much and too little, in unequal parts. More than enough of time passing but not enough of the time passed. Right? Ratio of the time you want versus the time you get (a rough estimate)-- 1 : 20,000 . Ratio of Dads time as the son of Martin : as the living father of Biz : as my dead dad, sitting on the edge of my bed telling me stories-- 1 : 0.7 : ∞. Monday morning, 7:30, and its so hot the house feels like its melting. Cicadas scream through the windows. The dog pants on the kitchen floor. I had a shower five minutes ago and already Im sweating through my shirt. "Ugh," I say, flopping over the kitchen counter, crumpled uniform on, shoes untied. Mum reads my face and sighs. Shes making breakfast for the twins. "Be grateful you get to have an education, Biz." She waggles a spatula. "Not everyones as lucky." I peer at her. "You might have read me wrong, Mum. Maybe I meant, Ugh. How I wish school lasted all weekend, I have missed it so very much." Im a month into Year 11, which is ridiculous because I am nano and unformed but Im still supposed to write essays about Lenin and Richard III and urban sprawl. Year 11 is a big deal. We are only seconds away, the teachers say, from our final exams. The teachers cant stop revving us up about our impending future. This is a big deal! say the teachers of English, science, art, maths, music, geography, and Other Important Subjects in Which We Are Not Remotely Interested But Are Taking So We Can Get a Good Mark. You need to take it seriously! You need to be prepared! You need to not freak out, then have to go to the counselor because weve freaked you out! I open the fridge. "Im going to sit in here, okay? Just for a minute. Let me squat next to the broccoli." Mum laughs. Shes making banana pancakes. Billie and Dart drool over their waiting plates. The twins have the morning off school. Theyre going to the dentist! They love the dentist--its where Mum works, so they get extra toothbrushes, and as many little packs of floss and toothpaste as they can carry in their hands. "Are they ready yet?" says my brother, Dart, six years old. "Come on, Mum! Im starving to death, " says my sister, Billie, nineteen minutes younger than Dart. "Give me a second," says Mum. "A watched pancake never boils." She flips one over. It looks scorched. Mum doesnt love cooking. I cant see how she can be anywhere near a stove in this heat. I grab some coconut yogurt and grapes out of the fridge. "Did you study for your test?" Mum says. "Absolutely," I say, and its true, if you count watching YouTube videos and listening to music while reading the textbook studying. I dont know if Im ready--theres the lack of sleep thing, and the not-having-spoken-properly-to-Grace-since-I-kissed-her thing, which makes today impossible and complicated before it even begins. I hug Mum goodbye and smooch the twins cheeks as they squirm. I grab my bike from the shed, ride it for thirty seconds before I realize the front tire is flat. Ah, thats right. When did the tire go? Friday? No, Thursday. Shit, Biz! You had one job. A magpie laughs from a nearby tree. His magpie friend looks down, then joins in. I could ask Mum to drive me but I know what shed say: "Do I look like a taxi, Biz?" I could skip school, but then Id miss my test and ruin my impending future. I shove the bike back in the shed. And start walking. I live with Mum and the twins in Wollongong, in a blue-clad house on a street wallpapered with trees. We moved here a couple of years ago, after moving to a lot of other places. Were one and a half hours south of Sydney. The city is not too big, not too small; its just right for now, says Mum. The city sits beside the sea, under an escarpment. The sea pushes at the shore, shoving under rocks and dunes and lovers. Craggy cliffs lean over us, trying to read what weve written. The city is long like a finger. It was a steel town once. There, thats the tour. When I was seven, Mum, Dad, and I lived up north, near Queensland--in the Australian jungle, Mum likes to say. She says the mosquitoes were full on, but I dont remember them. I remember frogs click-clacking at night in the creek at the bottom of the hill. The house was wooden; it had stilts. The backyard was a steep tangle of eucalypts and ferns and figs and shrubs. You could see hills like womens boobs all around. Id wake up and hear kookaburras. Light would come in through my curtainless windows and lift me out of bed. Id run in to Mum and Dads room and jump on them to wake them up. I had a puppy. I called him Bumpy. Our street is flat now. It goes past a park where I walk the dog and he sniffs the shit left by other dogs. I can walk to school in fifteen minutes or I can walk straight past it and go to the sea. Or, if I want to be a total rebel, I can go the opposite direction and in fifteen minutes end up in a rainforest, under a mountain, gathering leeches for my leech army. On the walk to school, the cicadas keep me company. They scream from one huge gum tree to another. I pass the community center. I pass the park. I get to the end of the cul-de-sac and wait under the bleaching sun to cross the freeway. Traffic bawls past. I can feel my skin frying. I can feel cancer po Details ISBN052555436X Author Helena Fox Language English ISBN-10 052555436X ISBN-13 9780525554363 Format Paperback Publisher Penguin Putnam Inc Year 2020 Publication Date 2020-05-05 UK Release Date 2020-05-05 Country of Publication United States Place of Publication New York AU Release Date 2020-05-05 NZ Release Date 2020-05-05 US Release Date 2020-05-05 Pages 400 Audience Age 14 Replaces 9781984814692 DEWEY 823.92 Audience Teenage / Young adult Imprint Dial Books for Young Readers,US We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:127237765;

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